Lessons In Being A New Dad

Had a walk with my little girl recently and came back with many insights that started to flood  me around things I've learned in being a new dad.  Normally I'm sharing business, mindset or performance strategies, but this time I'm going personal.  

Time to dive in.....

Lesson One - Business taught me allot over the years and still does, but NOTHING like being a father.  First lesson is around COMMITMENT.  I know what its like committing to starting a new business, pushing through challenges and setbacks, but the first two days I got home from the hospital, I was a mess, I broke down emotionally, it was the biggest shock to my system in my life.  I've never been in a situation where I had no choice, but to commit, I felt like all my free time was gone, I felt like how could I take care of a new human being when I'm trying to take of me and my business....I was on the edge of the bed with Genevieve when this started, it was like God hit me over the head with a two by four.  

In business it was always a choice, in relationships it was always a choice, with my health or finances it was always a choice, yes its a choice to have a baby, but once you have that little human, your faced with no choice, but to commit, you STEP UP and always find a way.  Before having Lily, I thought I got this, I had a plan, I had visualized it prior to, I've had years of mentor's and coaching, been through everything and told myself I got this, well was I ever wrong!  It took me a few weeks to adjust, but each day I got better, I see everything differently in life, its made me become a better human, in my relationships, business, as a coach and in life, I'm so grateful.    

Lesson Two - Savouring a SMILE.  I've done morning routines for years, still do and find so much value in them, but nothing gives me as much joy as waking up and having a smiling session with Lily.  For years I always had a plan in morning, get up, do your declarations, meditation, reflection, exercise and conquer, but taking 5 minutes of being just present and smiling has been a HUGE energy shift for me.  It makes all of life's problems disappear and seem small, its a sense of grounding, pulling me back into being present.  What really does it for me, is looking deep into her eyes and listening, now remember babies can't talk, they communicate much differently, and feeling the love from them, its such a powerful feeling.

Lesson Three - PRIORITIES.  This was a big one for me, as for years I was the guy that did everything, would work around the clock, I was a workaholic, but absolutely love what I do, its not work for me its play.  Before I would work, train, eat, rinse and repeat, I would find myself getting overwhelmed and quite unbalanced with more of a one track lifestyle, your life becomes dominated by one thing, I've learned the beauty in having more diversity, not balance.  I don't believe in balance, its more integration.  I've learned to integrate the priorities more effectively into my lifestyle.  I find myself now always questioning what I'm spending my time on, more than before, will this move the needle forward, will this generate more impact, with this deliver value.  

Lesson Four - Valuing your TIME.  When you become a person of high value, everyone want's your time, in most cases its genuine and not intentional, but sometimes people don't care and try to get every minute they can from you for free.  I always felt my time was valued as a business owner and coach, but with a daughter it takes a massive step up.  I'm now responsible for this little human, so every minute I can must be spent doing productive things that align to my higher purpose and vision and I can't be wasting it doing one of two things, with energy sucking individuals or unproductive activities.   My wife, relationships, clients and dear friends are gold to me, but unfortunately there will be the life suckers and you will know who they are, these need to go, as I want my time to shared with others who respect that, along with having time with my family, so key!  PS - Until you value and respect your time, others won't respect it in return.   So don't say that nobody respects your time, just look in the mirror. 

Lesson Five - LISTEN more, I learned this through my relationship with Gen because of the language gap, but even more with Lily.  One of my biggest problems, especially in my past was that I talked too much, I did it from a place validation.  My first lesson in listening more did come from Gen, then through business and again with Lily.  Listening and asking ALIGNED questions to keep focused in finding the best answer.  Listening is harder to do than you think, I often bit my tongue allot, but listening is learning and learning leads to being able to help even more effectively.  Listening to my daughter, hearing the sounds she makes, absorbing the body movements and being patient, allows for much richer communication even if its not with words. 

Lesson Six - Slow down and be SMARTER.  I've always been a go getter kind of guy, jump in and do what ever it takes, sometimes blindly, I just finished reading a great book called 'The Coaching Habits', awesome read and learned that I'm a rescuer, I like to jump in and save the day, even if it compromises my values, not good!!  When you have a little girl, everything shifts in your thinking, I find myself questioning everything I do, but doing so from a higher purpose.  I have this new thinking, looking at it from all angles, to ensure it serves me, my family, those effected and the higher good. 

Lesson Seven - FOCUS ON ME.  This one might take you off guard, but its a BIG one.  Most times as new parents we focus all on our little one and forget about ourselves, big mistake.  How can you give your best when your not feeling or performing at your best?  When my nutrition, training, rest and recovery are all on point I know I can be a powerhouse dad.  It does require a shift in routine, some changes to how I do things, sticking to a strict schedule and also ensuring I contribute in raising our little human at home.  These changes can be challenging to adjust to, but if it was easy everyone would be doing it.  

Lesson Eight - Lots of LOVE.  We are humans searching for love, love is the powerful emotion in the universe and when we feel it, its like nothing else.  Love in a relationship, with your family and even more with your kids.  I'm an uncle and have been for a few years now and felt that love, but nothing compares to the love your own child brings.  Don't let this shower of love, fool you thinking you turn all soft and mushy, far from it.  This love actually heighten's up your senses, meaning and purpose, you become more aware of other emotions, good or bad that effect you, your animal instincts turn a notch up, you sense danger more, I have less patience for negative people and am more decisive.  

Lesson Nine - PURPOSE.  I'm sure you've heard this quote many times, that if someone asked you lying on your death bed, how would you want to be remembered?  Its not money, how many homes or car's I got, BUT who's lives I've impacted the most, what impact did I leave?  My daughter has re-ignited the importance of what I do is much greater than coaching, its creating impact, but changing lives.  When I work with people, hungry to change, growing there business, starting a new business, shifting there thinking and in achieving there dreams, NOTHING gets me more juiced, than seeing my clients and those who receive my message, achieve powerful results.  

So what is stopping you from stepping up to the next level?

Do you have excuses or are you committed to making a change and doing what ever it takes?

I challenge you to look past money, time or your current circumstances and just act, even if its a small step today, as tomorrow you'll be one step closer than you were today. 

What's scaring you right now? 

Act on it, in some capacity and conquer that fear, own it, take complete control of it!

Listen, I was completely uncertain on having a baby, how to raise it, I had no idea, but each diaper change, each milk feeding or each goal setting speech she gets from me, even though she has no idea what daddy is saying, is one step closer, LOL.

Today is your chance to act, change and step into your power.

I believe in you!